How Muslims Deal with Death
Understand Islamic Etiquette in Dealing with the Passing of a Life
Muslims accept death as part of life. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) overturned many pagan practices and advised that Muslims acknolwedge death in a positive light.
Muslims accept death as part of life believing that death is an essential part of surrendership to Allah Ta'ala. Allah Ta'ala is the Arabic word for God, the Creator. It is God, who gives life and He who dictates when it is time for a life to end.
Muslims therefore accept an end of a life with calmness and happiness that the deceased is returning to his or her Creator. They acknowledge death by first saying "inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajioon." This short sentence is understood as "from Allah we come and to Allah we return."
Muslims and the Afterlife
Muslims live their lives with the repercussions of the afterlife in mind. The afterlife includes a duration spent in the grave followed by the ressurection on judgement day and the assignment to either heaven or hell - in accordance to which deeds, good or bad, outweigh the other.
Pagan Practices Surrounding a Death
During pagan times, pre-Islam, Arabs found death difficult to accept. Many would wail and condemn their idols for allowing a loved one to pass on. They also threw elaborate ceremonies to commemorate the deceased. Women would cry out loud and thump their chests. Many would stay in mourning for a long time period. In some cases, widows were disallowed to remarry.
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) overturned these pagan practices. He did allow crying though, as he too wept over the grave of his infant son, Ibrahim, when he died. He explained that it was in his humanness that he cried (Bukhari). He did not allow wailing or any sort of clamours as noise as he said, were practices of the ignorant whereas tears and sorrow from the heart were elements of grief exhibited by a Muslim (Bukhari & Muslim).
Other Practices Overturned by the Prophet
Besides overturning such practices, the Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) warned that mourning over the dead was only to be limited to three days. Mourning beyond this duration was a reflection of disobedience towards Allah's will (Dawud).
As for women who lost their husbands, they were to observe a longer time period of mourning - four months and 10 days - this allowed them to confirm a pregnancy. Furthermore, it allowed them to recuperate from their loss. The mourning period protects women during a difficult and vulnerable time and provides space and time to regain confidence and solid-footing before considering new marriage proposals, should she wish to remarry.
Traditionally, family and friends gather in the house of the deceased for many days and nights. This was a disliked practice as it placed a burden on the deceased's family to prepare food, drink and sometimes accomodation for those who came to offer their condolences. Instead, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) urged his followers to prepare meals and run errands for families who had lost a love one. He recommended that the community chip in to alleviate the family's burden or grief and help them resume their daily lives as soon as possible (Ibn Majah).
Praying for the Deceased
The deceased should always be remembered during prayers and Muslims are required to invoke forgiveness from Allah for their well-being in the hereafter. Muslims pray that their brother and sister in faith has had their sins forgiven by God. A congregational prayer for the deceased is therefore, performed at the time of death. It is obligatory for the Muslim community to perform such a prayer before proceeding to personal prayers for the deceased.
Death, Grief and Moving On
Muslims therefore are allowed to grieve for those who have passed away. However, they accept death as the end of one's life that leads to the other, and it is by Allah's will who He wishes to have return to him at that point in time.
Muslims are required to resume their normal lives as soon as possible with close rememberance of the deceased in mind, especially during prayers. The passing on of a fellow Muslim brother or sister reminds Muslims that death is inevitable. It is therefore a duty for every Muslim to work towards cultivating good deeds and eliminating evil ones for the sake of Allah.
